EJ Cullen and his temper
by McFoster
Summary: EJ Cullen, son of Edward and Bella has trouble controlling his temper.  When his parents are out of town he pushes Carlisle and Esme a bit too far.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own twilight

**Introduction**

E.J. Cullen is the twin brother of Renesmee Cullen. This is a short glimpse of him as he is experiencing "teenage angst".

Finally my parents were out of town and I was going to have a little freedom. Nobody knows how hard it is to not only live in a house full of vampires but to top it off those with special abilities.

Earlier that day

"I'm home" I bellowed as I walked into the kitchen.

"Hi sweetie" Esme greeted me with a big smile and a huge plate of pizza rolls. I quickly landed myself into one of the bar stools and popped one into my mouth. "Emmmm thanks Esme, I'm starving." Lately I've wanted to eat about every two hours.

"Anything abnormal happen today?" She asked tossing the empty box in the recycle bin. Abnormal was her way of asking anything better than the norm.

"Na, not really." I mumbled while stuffing another pizza roll in my mouth.

"I picked up a few extra things at the store today." Esme placed a box on the kitchen table next to me. I told Carlisle and Esme I was going to stay the night at Quil's house since his father Quil Sr. was having a bon fire in honor of the first full moon of the year. It wasn't a total lie. I was going to go to the bonfire at least to pick Quil up.

Peering inside I saw she had all the ingredients for s'mores. She must have gone to Sam's Club because everything looked as if it were bought in bulk. We all knew the La Push gang could eat anyone out of house and home. A small wave of guilt passed through my body but I still managed to smile and mumble a small thanks.

"Your parents called earlier today. They are having a great time touring the city and even dragged Nessie on a boat tour to see the statue of liberty up close."

"They got Nes on a boat! It's official the gods are doing their work." I sarcastically stated. The last time we were on a boat Nessie puked her guts out from motion sickness.

Esme's smile was a bit of smirk. "They gave her some Dramamine and apparently she made her way through it."

"Maybe we can get her knee boarding this summer then." It was a long shot but maybe it would happen.

"I'm going to work on the garden a bit. The rabbits keep eating my tomato plants and I need to set some wire around them." Esme loved her garden, even if she couldn't enjoy the food when it was ripe. She enjoyed the process and nurturing her plants.

"Have fun I'm going to watch TV for a while."

About 45 minutes later I was channel surfing when I heard Esme bound up the front steps.

"EDWARD JACOB CULLEN get in here." Esme yelled as she walked through the door.

_Oh shit! She used my full name._

I turned off the TV and walked into the entry way.

"What's wrong?" I asked as innocently as I could. I was confused and quickly retraced my day in my head but nothing stuck out.

"What exactly are you planning to do tonight?" One hand was on her hip and the other held her cell phone.

_No way, you've got to be kidding me. How could she know about my real plans with Quil._

"What do you mean, I'm going over to Quil's." I stated looking confused. That wasn't a complete lie, I was going over there.

"Don't you lie to me EJ, I just got off the phone with your Aunt and she very explicitly told me you had other plans tonight."

_ALICE…..I'm going to kill her! _ I could feel my temper starting to grow. How could she tell on me? More importantly why was she focusing on my future when she was supposed to be spending "quality time with Jasper?

I let out a low growl thinking of her and how she betrayed me.

"Fucking Alice" I mumbled barely audible but Esme caught it clearly.

"Watch your tongue, you are already in trouble. Now I am going to ask you one more time and for your own good I would answer honestly." Esme was all business now.

_Are you kidding me? I'm so sick of not being able to be a normal teenager._

Crossing my arms and raising my voice I answered her question with another question. "Why don't you tell me since the stupid pixie already called you before I even did anything!" I spat.

"EDWARD!" She snapped quickly at my rude remark. "My patience is growing very thin with you right now."

"Yea well, so is mine! Why can't everyone mind their own GOD DAMN BUSINESS including you! Is it not enough my dad can read every damn thought in my head but now I'm getting in trouble for something I may or may not do?" I yelled at her.

Esme was furious. She inhaled a long breath and exhaled through her clenched teeth. "Edward Jacob Cullen, you get your behind up those stairs and into your room right now and don't even think about stepping one foot out of that doorway." She had a sharp finger pointed up the stairway.

"FINE!" I said and turned to up the long stairway.

"Don't you even think about slamming that door young man." Esme yelled at me as I rolled my eyes turning to walk up the stairs.

_Oh just wait that door isn't going to have any hinges when I'm through with it. What can they do to me now? I'm already grounded until my parents come home and then probably until eternity. _

I stomped up the stairs making sure my steps were extra heavy hoping it would send vibrations through the entire house.

_This is fucking bullshit. I didn't even do anything and I'm confined to my bedroom on a Friday night. _

SLAM! I walked into my room whipping the door behind me!

I heard a growl come from down stairs and for a brief moment I was nervous I may have slammed my door a little too loud but Esme did not come up the steps.

I fell backward onto my bed glaring up at the ceiling. The tears welled in my eyes and I couldn't control them as they ran out of my face.

_Was it really that big of a deal to go to a party on a Friday night that didn't include obnoxiously protective vampires? Quil and I were going Caleb Uly's bonfire on the beach. It would be impossible for Alice to see the case of beer and vodka that was in Quil's trunk, her visions didn't extend to the La Push crowd. How did she know? What did she tell Esme? _

_What ever Alice…_

_Carlisle is going to be home soon and be pissed once Esme explains my tantrum to him. Why did I talk to Esme like that? _ He could tolerate a lot and I mean a lot. He may be the most patient man in the entire world next to Gandhi. One thing he did not tolerate though was his children being disrespectful.

He even grounded Emmitt once. Wiping my eyes I chuckled at the memory. Emmitt was 90 years old and Carlisle sent him strait to his room like he was a 12 year old boy. Although the people in my family were much older than they appeared and had more life experience than any human they still at times were confined to their adolescent emotions and actions. Carlisle and Esme still remained the parental figures for our family but unfortunately for me I had an extra set of authority figures to deal with. The amusement from my memory quickly vanished as I knew I was in for it later. _Great. _I thought._ What do I have in store for me?_

_It's probably a good thing nobody else was home when I mouthed off to Esme, my backside would probably still be stinging. Who was I kidding, Carlisle would be home soon and his absence was only prolonging the inevitable. Everyone was protective of Esme, you don't disrespect your mother, or grandmother for that matter. _She can hold her own, that's for sure but nobody wanted to see her feelings hurt.

I wanted nothing more than to send Alice's pixie butt flying through a window. Of course she had to tell Esme what I was really planning on doing.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and texted Quil. There was no way I was getting away with a phone conversation without Esme hearing. I turned my phone to silent so she wouldn't hear my phone chirping. I turned on some music but low so I didn't irritate Esme anymore then I already had.

EJ "Got caught…ALICE."

Q "No shit?"

EJ "Yea she called Esme"

Q "How did she see me?"

EJ "No clue"

Q "Fuck man, is she going to call my dad?"

EJ "Maybe…stuck in my room….sorry man"

Q "Well we didn't really do anything so maybe it won't be that bad"

EJ "Err…..yea if that was all I did"

Q "Dude EJ what did you do?"

EJ "Err….told her to mind her OWN GDB"

Q "OMG….you have a death wish"

EJ "Tell me about it…"

Q "At least your dad is gone….for now"

EJ "Except Carlisle will be home soon"

Q "Whose worse Carlisle's hand or your dads?"

EJ "FUCK….both of them hurt like hell"

"At least my dad has some time to calm down"

Q "How many times has Carlisle "punished" you?"

EJ "Not much…..only when he is really pissed…maybe twice"

Q "Well at least your dad doesn't use a belt like mine!"

EJ "DUDE your dad isn't a VAMPIRE"

Q "Agreed….

I heard a car pull up into the drive way. I hopped up and peered out my window through the slit in the blinds as Carlisle pulled his car next to the garage.

EJ "Gotta go Carlisle is home…..i'm dead"

Q "Good luck bro.."

When I brought my eyes back to the window Esme was making her way towards Carlisle.

_She must want to talk to him outside so he is out of ear shot. _Carlisle set his leather brief case down on the front porch and they both made their way down the driveway. As Esme was talking she threw her hands up in the air with animation. Carlisle stopped dead in his tracks and turned his head back toward the house glancing up at my window. I quickly shot back so he wouldn't see me but I caught a glance of his face. He looked stunned and a bit like he couldn't comprehend what Esme was saying. He then embraced Esme into a hug and held her for a moment. He kissed the top of her forehead and whispered something in her ear. A moment later Esme was making her way back toward the house.

"Shit shit shit shit" Was all I kept repeating in my head. My heart was racing steadily now and growing faster as the time went by.


	2. Chapter 2

**Let me know what you guys think? Keep going? **

**Chapter 2**

I heard Esme's car pull out of the driveway and a moment later the front door open and shut. Esme must want to get out of the house while Carlisle speaks with me. I expected him to climb the stairs and attend to my punishment immediately but here I sat forty five minutes after Esme went on an "errand" and Carlisle still had yet to confront me.

_Did he forget about me?_ Part of me was hopeful he had but I also was driving myself crazy with imagining my punishment. _Ok this is ridiculous, maybe I should say something. _

I slowly opened my door so I could peer out into the hallway. I now realized the fearful thoughts and anticipation of my punishment had allowed me to misplace Carlisle's whereabouts in the house. I hadn't recalled hearing him climb the stairs or enter his study. _He must still be downstairs. _

I leaned my head further out of my doorway but could still not see the family room downstairs. In order to peer over the banister I would have to position myself a few feet down the hall.

I decided knowing where Carlisle was in the house would ease my nerves. Slowly and steadily I took a few steps outward, making sure to avoid any cracking floor boards. As I rested my hands on the smooth railing I scanned the lower level of the house but my grandfather was nowhere to be seen. As I turned back toward my room I instantly froze.

Carlisle stood just an arm lengths away with his arms crossed wearing an intense but calm facial expression. I had half expected him to be furious and aggressive but he was not. Instinctively I tucked my chin to my chest to avoid his gaze any longer.

"Edward" He spoke my name with his usual smooth caring voice but I sensed the disappointment in his tone. Rarely did he call me Edward as it was confusing for the entire family. When he did this I knew he was all business.

"Yes" I mumbled.

"I believe your grandmother asked you to stay in your room, did she not"?

"Um…yes she did but I…" I couldn't find the words that would explain why I couldn't wait in my room any longer.

"Very well, I expect you will obey her wishes and wait for me in your bedroom, I will be in shortly". His tone was calm and difficult for me to decipher. I immediately walked back into my room to wait for Carlisle's return.

Fifteen minutes later there was a knock on my door. His knock was out of courtesy as we both knew he would enter if I granted him access or not.

"Come in" I half mumbled while sitting up to the edge of my bed.

Carlisle opened my door but did not enter.

"Please come into my study son".

As I walked into Carlisle's study he was leaning on his desk, arms cross and looking directly at me. He motioned for me to sit across from him on the black leather couch. I sat still unable to meet his eyes. Suddenly I felt my body relax and the apprehension ease itself from my mind.

Carlisle's glanced toward the door with his brows crossed.

"JASPER, privacy please".

Realization hit me instantly. Of course, Jasper was home. My fear must have been a bit much for him.

"Your grandmother told me about your behavior this afternoon. Would you like to explain yourself"?

"I'm sorry". I mumble waiting for him to respond.

"Although you may regret your behavior, your apology is not an explanation EJ. I would like for you to tell me exactly what you said to your grandmother this afternoon".

_Is he serious? No way can I repeat my language from this afternoon….._

"Umm…. I was angry at Alice for calling Esme and ratting me out and I kind of… swore at her. Carlisle I'm sick of everyone knowing exactly what I'm doing or thinking".

I drew out the last word so he understood my annoyance. Carlisle just stood there looking at me waiting for me to elaborate further. I took a deep breath and decided to get this over with. I averted my eyes while I told him what I knew he was waiting for.

"I called Alice a fucking pixie and told grandma to….. mind her own god damn business along with everyone else".

"And"?

"I also lied to all of you about staying at Quil's house tonight. I ugh …. was planning on going to a party on La Push beach".

"What were you planning on doing at this party EJ"?

"Well…..umm mostly just hang out". I wasn't sure how much Alice saw in her vision so if I didn't to dig myself in a larger hole I was planning on it.

Carlisle raised his eye brows at me as he was expecting more, letting me know Alice had seen everything.

"We also got Quil Jr's cousin to buy us a case of beer and a fifth of vodka…ugh it was suppose to make cliff jumping more thrilling".

Although he already knew what I had said he seemed a bit agitated by hearing it from my mouth. I too was starting to feel angry as I recalled my conversation with Esme earlier.

Again Carlisle's brows grew closer as he walked toward the door.

"JASPER…take Alice hunting, NOW"!

"To be clear EJ" Carlisle began. "You lied to us about staying at Mr. Uley's, you were planning on jumping off cliffs into the ocean in the middle of the night all while being severely intoxicated".

"Uh huh".

"I am very disappointed in your decisions EJ. Your lack of concern for yourself and others is shocking. I understand that you are frustrated with your father's and aunt's abilities which allow them to keep stricter tabs on your behavior, however at this moment I am thankful that Alice was able to intervene when she did. Not only is cliff diving in the dark dangerous but to do it while being intoxicated is absurd".

Carlisle was becoming angry and I could tell he was imagining what could have happened if Alice hadn't called Esme.

"It's not fair Carlisle! Teenagers make poor decisions all the time and they grow up to be healthy adults. The only difference is that I'm not allowed to make one stupid mistake".

"You are right son. Teenagers do make stupid mistakes all the time and I get to see them in my operating room on a daily basis. Some of them don't get to make it to the operating table and go directly to the morgue".

I sighed knowing that Carlisle was right and that I was acting reckless. The problem was, was that I didn't care. I wanted to be able to be my own person and make my own mistakes.

"EJ you are grounded for two weeks and will not leave the grounds of our estate unless escorted by a family member. No phone privileges or internet use. You will also see an increase in your chores during this time, in which I expect you to complete without hesitation".

"Are we clear"?

"Yes Sir". _I can't believe I'm not over Carlisle's desk right now. _

"Your parents will be home in two days. Although you will abide by my rules your parents will determine the extent of your punishment. I assume you expected to be over my knee or desk after your behavior this afternoon, am I correct"?

"Yea…..I did". I lowered my head thinking of the humiliation and pain it would cause.

"Although I fully intended to spank you after our conversation, I am now choosing not to. I know your father will be very angry with your behavior and complete that portion of your punishment. Let me be clear, that if in the future we are presented with a similar situation you will be receiving more than one punishment in that area. Do you understand me"?

"Yes, I understand…. Carlisle, I am so sorry for the way I spoke to Esme earlier".

"You also owe Esme and Alice an apology for your behavior this afternoon and you will call your parents this evening to explain yourself".

Ugh that was one conversation I was not looking forward too.

"Yes sir I plan on speaking to Esme when she gets home. I know my lack of respect and behavior was unacceptable and will apologize and will hope that she forgives me. But why do I have to apologize to Alice"?

Carlisle looked at me with a frustrated look.

"EJ you lied to our entire family. Your safety is extremely important to everyone and we are lucky that we have a family member with such an extraordinary gift. Alice looks for your future along with everyone else's to keep us safe. You owe her an apology for the way you spoke about her to Esme this afternoon and for creating such worry for her and Jasper. Although I understand your Aunts and Uncles at times seem like your siblings, you need to remember to show them with the same amount of respect you do for the other authority figures in your life, such as your grandmother and I".

_I hadn't thought about how my behavior would worry Alice and Jasper, I guess I do owe them an apology. But is he serious about them being my authority figures…. I don't have to listen to them do I? _

"I understand now, I shouldn't have worried Alice and Jasper and the way I spoke about her earlier was uncalled for. I know Jasper's emotions must have been very difficult for him to manage. But grandpa, what do you mean authority figures, don't you think I have enough of those already"?

He was growing agitated by my questions and I could tell with his quick response.

"Your aunts and uncles may look closer to your age but you will respect them and follow their rules and punishments when your parents or your grandmother and I are not around, understand".

_Damn it! _

Yes I understand.


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't want to let go of Esme's embrace. I didn't deserve a grandma like her, she was perfect. I knew she would forgive me but she always seemed to understand as well.

She pulled away from me while kissing me on the forehead.

"I love you, now go wash up".

"I love you too grandma, thanks". If Esme could cry I think I would have seen tears fill her face. Although I varied from addressing her as Esme and grandma, mostly because I had to call her Esme in public, I knew it always hit a soft spot in her heart when she heard grandma.

I felt better after our conversation but my apologies were far from over. I think next time I will just ask Carlisle to call a family meeting and kill six birds with one stone.

When I got out of the shower I could hear the muffled voices of Alice and Jasper in the garage.

"Hey". I said as I walked into the open garage door. Alice was sitting on a stool resting her chin on her hands while looking down at Jasper as he lay half hidden under his new project.

I wasn't sure what to expect from this conversation.

_Were they still upset with me, worried or already over it?_ _I hadn't really done anything directly to them except call Alice a fuckin pixie and she wasn't even in the room when I had._

Alice looked at me with a perplexed look. I moved myself over to Jasper's opened tool chest and began to fidget with his wrenches. _Why is apologizing so embarrassing? _

"So… I'm sorry for making you worry about me and making you come back from your vacation early. And I ugh…..shouldn't have called you a name when I was angry at you earlier Alice".

Alice scrunched her face as if I had just called her a pixie again.

"EJ, you know I only look out for you because I love you, right? And if getting you in trouble is the only way to do that…..I will". As Alice began to talk, Jasper pushed himself out from under his car to join the conversation.

"Uh huh".

"If you ask me your very lucky your dad wasn't home or you wouldn't be walking right now". Jasper chimed in.

"Yea well lucky for me they are going to be back in a few days". I grumbled.

"Yes well Edward thinks much more logically when he has the opportunity to calm down. I should know as I enjoy pushing his buttons every now and then". Alice smirked as she must have been thinking about the last time her and my dad got into it.

"You know EJ, you may be in store for it when Edward and Bella get back …..but to be honest you have it coming". When Jasper looked at me I had to advert my eyes from his glare.

_What was his problem? Was he really that upset that I called his wife a pixie? I was a little annoyed by his agreement of my expected punishment. _

"Well I didn't technically do anything and although Alice's visions are accurate…..who knows I may have changed my mind when I got to the party".

"Edward Jacob, you and I both know that you would have followed through with your intended plans". Alice wasn't going to allow me to make excuses for myself.

_Okay, she was right but I thought I'd throw it out there anyway._ As I looked over at Jasper he didn't seem to find my remark very funny. He shifted his body weight form foot to foot as if he was holding back.

"Although you may want to endanger your self EJ, the way you spoke to Esme earlier is never acceptable". Jasper was in serious mode now.

"I know Jasper, I already apologized to her" I said a little angry that I have to cover this topic for the third time today.

"No I don't think you do understand". Jasper was now very close to me and angry. I could feel his emotions as he was growing more frustrated as he thought I was taking this lightly.

"Esme is the person that holds this family together and your lack of respect for my mother, your grandmother should never be tolerated. I can't believe Carlisle didn't tan your hide for your behavior this afternoon. I'm half ready to do so right now".

"Jasper calm down honey". Alice placed her small hand on his shoulder and he took a few steps away.

_This conversation as growing more uncomfortable by the minute. I wasn't anticipating Jasper to be this upset. With his southern upbringing I guess I shouldn't be that surprised. Disrespecting your parents or elders wasn't an option in Jasper's eyes. _

"I know what I did was wrong Jasper, I'm sorry and I already apologized to Esme".

"Just don't let it happen again". And with what Jasper placed himself back under his car to finish, whatever part I had pulled him away from earlier.

The dreaded phone call

Carlisle handed me my cell phone as I walked in from the garage. He looked at me with a reassuring smile trying to calm my nerves.

"Everything will be okay E.J." He placed his hand on my shoulder as he glanced up the stairway. I knew with his gesture he was suggesting I make the phone call to my parents in my bedroom.

I laid on my bed and flipped my phone open, scrolling to my Dad's number. I stared at the number for a moment contemplating if I should call my mom instead. Resting the phone on my forehead I closed my eyes and pressed send.

"Hello Son". My dad answered excited.

"Um….hey dad". This was one of the few times I actually wished my father could hear my thoughts through the line. At least I wouldn't have to explain myself.

"We are having a wonderful time, even convinced Nessie into a boat ride". He chuckled as he was teasing her on the other end. "How's Forks? We can't wait to see you".

"Urgh, it's alright". I paused not knowing how to lead the conversation.

"E.J. are you alright, it sounds like something's wrong". Although he couldn't read my mind, he was still capable of picking up the slightest change in my tone.

"Well, um not really I guess".

"What do you mean, are you hurt; is there danger to the family"? His concern was throwing me off.

"No…no everyone is fine. I just sorta….made a mistake and I'm really sorry".

"Mistake"? It was clear from the change of his tone that realization had settled in and he understood now that my hesitation was a red flag for misbehavior.

"Yea I'm sorry Dad".

"Son, I would appreciate it if you would explain to me why you are apologizing". Before I spoke, my dad suggested Nessie go shopping and placed me on speaker phone so my mom could be a part of the conversation.

I plunged into a full confession; telling my parents how I lied to everyone about the party, my plans to go cliff diving and getting drunk as well as my argument with Esme. However I failed to go into great detail about our conversation.

My parents would interject periodically with a "YOU WHAT" or "EDWARD JACOB".

I finally finished explaining my behavior and waited for their response.

"Your behavior is inexcusable". My father said flatly with little emotion.

"I know dad….I'm really sorry".

"We will discuss your punishment when we get back, but until then you are to obey your grandparent's punishment. I assume Carlisle has outlined specifics for you".

"Yes….I can't leave our property and he took away my cell and computer, with the exception of calling you guys".

"Very well, would you please put your grandfather on the phone"?

"Yea, just a second". I was descending the stairway still holding the phone to my ear when my dad did something I wasn't expecting.

"And EJ"?

"Yea"?

"We love you". My dad said, softening his voice a bit, making me feel even more remorseful.

"Thanks dad…I love you guys too". I handed Carlisle my cell phone and went back up to my bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone, I've added a lot to this chapter. **

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

As EJ handed me his cell phone our eyes met and I was certain I learned more about his day in that moment than I had in our entire conversation a few hours prior. I couldn't help the small grin forming as I looked into his green eyes that

reminded me of Edward so long ago. So alike they were with their temperament. Although Edward has learned to control his emotions and has gained an incredible amount of self control over the past one hundred years I could still see the

similarities in them daily. I am certain given time EJ will learn to express himself appropriately and control his temper. Unfortunately it is our duty as guardians to help guide him in the right direction, which at times can create more

heartbreak than desired. I contemplate each time I discipline one of my children if it is the right course of action. I've learned that loving them is not only showing them affection and attention but providing consequences when needed.

I nodded towards my grandson to acknowledge I was proud of his confession to his parents. EJ began making his way back to his bedroom while I decided to take the phone call outside in hopes of creating a distance large enough for privacy.

"Edward?"

"Hello Carlisle. It sounds as if things have been relatively interesting for you while we are away".

"Ah, yes but nothing your mother and I can't handle". I chuckled at his attempt to lighten the situation.

"Dad I can't believe how reckless he can be. Does he think he is indestructible?" Edward began.

I could tell by his tone that he was agitated but more concerned about his son's safety than anything. I imagined him running his hands through his hair as he closed his eyes, a habit he has had since he was a young boy.

"I wouldn't be certain of that son".

"But dad what else would it be. I mean cliff jumping is dangerous as it is but while drinking? He probably wouldn't even be able to swim to shore". The concern in Edward's voice was growing stronger and I knew he was imagining the scenario in his mind.

"Did you call Sam? I know if the roles were reversed I would appreciate a phone call from him".

"I will let you do what you think is best when you return".

"Yes you are probably right I should handle that situation". Edward paused as he was contemplating something.

"Dad, had I known raising a teenager would be this challenging I may have gone a little easier on you or at least restrained Emmett a little more carefully". He let out a small laugh.

"Although some more challenging than others, you've all turned out just fine". I smiled thinking of my children and the surprises they've come up with over the years.

"Edward I think EJ is experiencing a lot of changes at the moment. Honestly his behavior is not that different than a full human teenager. Believe me I have parents in my office weekly demanding a drug screening for their teenage son because their behavior is intolerable. EJ's maturation may be enhanced due to the fact he is part vampire". I waited a moment for Edward to contemplate my theory.

"You may be right. I just wish we had a more definitive vision of what the future holds".

"Just as your mother and I have shown you and your siblings, patience is the key to your sanity".

"Yea Dad, thanks". He laughed lightly as we were beginning to bring our conversation to an end.

"Well I will say EJ got off a lot easier than I would have had I spoken to Esme with such lack of respect. Are you growing soft in your old age grandpa"?

"Edward I see your vacation has increased your sense of humor". I chuckled. "Each situation must be dealt with individually".

"I know dad, I know. We will see you in just two days. Give Esme a hug from us".

"I will tell Bella and Nessie we say hello". And with that I ended the conversation with my eldest son. I contemplated Edwards last suggestion. _Was I growing soft with old age?_

**EJ POV**

I was starring out the window watching the rain pound on the pavement. I glanced at my watch again anticipating their arrival.

"Easy Kid, Eddie's not going to be that pissed at you". Emmett chuckled as he sat himself down in the recliner across from me.

"Don't sweat it, you will be fine. I'm sure Bella's talked him out of shipping you off to boarding school by now".

I spun around to meet his witty grin. "Very funny".

"You want to throw the ball around until they get here"?

I looked out the window to see the rain had turned into a light drizzle. "Yea I guess". Emmett was always good at keeping your mind on the present. Although it seemed like he took things lightly I think he was just more capable of keeping things in perspective. He never wasted time worrying about things that were out of his control.

We played catch for about twenty minutes and just as Emmett was giving me pointers on my curve ball my parents and Nessie pulled up. Right behind them was Jasper and Alcie. Emmett tossed the ball to me one last time and started making his way toward the cars. I hesitantly made my way behind him and as I got closer I realized they weren't alone. A kid that looked like he was somewhere between 11-12 was in the back seat.

_Who the hell is this kid? _

As they got out of the car I looked at Nessie hoping I could read something in her eyes. When she saw me her eyes perked up and she looked happy.

My mom came over and gave me a big hug. "We've missed you sweatie". Her smile was huge.

"Hey I'm glad your home". _So is someone going to tell us what's going on? _

My dad took me into a warm hug and whispered in my ear. Why don't we go inside so we can explain everything but first I want you to meet someone?

He turned back toward the car where Uncle Jasper now had his arm wrapped around this kids shoulder. He looked a little embarrassed to have everyone's attention.

"EJ, I would like you to meet Jackson. He is going to be staying with us for a while". Jasper stated proudly with a boyish grin.

"Jackson this is EJ, Nessie's twin brother and Bella and Edward's son.

The kid gave me a half smile and a little nod. I could tell clearly he was very uncomfortable.

"Hey nice to meet you".

"Yea you too".

Esme opened the front door and hustled us in. As soon as we walked in Esme gave Jackson a huge hug and sympathetic smile.

Welcome to our home Jackson, we are so happy to have you with us. What's ours is yours. Clearly everyone else knew about his arrival except me.

_What the hell happened to this kid? Where are his parents? _

I heard my dad clear his throat behind me, warning me not to be too pushy.

After all the formal introductions Alice, Jasper, Rose and Nessie took Jackson into town to pick up some necessities, including a bed. For staying with us he sure did pack light. I only saw him with a backpack.

As soon as the door shut I couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Would someone please tell me what the HELL is going on"? The anticipation was starting to kill me.

"Smack" Someone swatted me in the back of the head while simultaneously everyone in the room scolded my foul mouth.

"Language"!

"OW, Emmett! I'm sorry, now can you please tell me what is going on".

My dad nodded to Carlisle and Esme and we began to make our way into the family room. I sat down on the white couch in between my parents.

"I'm sorry we didn't discuss this with you sooner EJ this situation wasn't something we were expecting". My dad seemed hesitant to continue.

"Um, OK".

"While we were in New York Jasper asked us to check in on someone, named Marilyn, Jasper's distant cousin".

I knew from time to time Jasper made sure his only living blood relative was taken care of. He never contacted them of course but occasionally he would find ways to ensure they were living comfortably_. _An anonymous deposit here and there or an inconspicuous spike in her portfolio.

"It had been quite a while since we've checked on Marilyn. Years have passed and Jasper hadn't known she had a son, nor did he know she didn't survive Jackson's birth". His words grew heavy and were filled with sadness.

My mind began to swarm with questions.

"Jackson is Jasper's blood relative"? I couldn't believe it. It still didn't explain why he was moving into our home.

"But why is he here? What about disclosing our secret? Are we in danger"?

"Let him finish EJ"! Nessie was a little annoyed with my eagerness but she already knew the answers to my questions.

"Marilyn Hale was human EJ but Jackson's father was not, he was a vampire. Jackson is like you and Nessie".

I was speechless and stunned. I sat there briefly with my mouth wide open not knowing what to say.

"He's…..He's like us Nessie". I looked at my sister who knew exactly what I was feeling. For so long we thought we would never meet anyone that could understand.

"I can't believe it".

When I gathered myself my mom began to explain the rest of the story.

After finding out that Marilyn had passed and had a son Jasper asked them to locate Jackson. He needed to know he was well cared for. Jackson had been living with a very close family friend named Anton. After a few days of monitoring the situation it was clear to my parents that Jackson was not human, not completely anyway.

"We approached Anton one afternoon while Jackson was away at school. We spent the next two days gathering all the information we could on Marilyn, Jackson's father and their story. To our surprise Anton new far more about our kind than we expected. He also feared what would happen to Jackson if he was found out. Although it was very difficult for him he asked if we would be willing to take in Jackson".

Esme met Carlisle's eyes and let out a small chuckle. Of course it was laughable that our family would not want Jackson.

"We contacted Jasper immediately and they flew in to town to make arrangements".

"So he's moving in permanently"?

"That is what we are anticipating". My father said.

* * *

**Hi everyone, I'm jumping forward. It will be a year following Jackson's arrival. I'm just not in the mood to fill in the pieces at the moment. **

* * *

**Carlisle's POV**

In all my existence I never anticipated the overwhelming happiness that my family has provided me. I can't imagine our lives without one of them. Each of my children provide small layers of hope that our kind will someday see past their

urges and live a life filled with love and humanity. My grandchildren surprise me daily with their innocence and ability to change so quickly, astonishing. I have dutifully kept a medical journal for both Nessie and EJ since they were born and

now Jackson since the last year he has joined us.

I imagined his journal would mirror that of EJ's at his age but interestingly I have noted a variety of discrepancies. My hypothesis that all half vampire and half human children of the same sex mature at the same rate has been drastically

incorrect. It appears that although there are many similarities each child may develop at a different pace.

It would be challenging for anyone outside of our family to notice that the three of them had not spent their entire childhood together. They are exceptionally close, yet manage to argue with one another far more than any of my other

children ever have. Jackson has grown into the younger brother Nessie and EJ never thought they would have. He is currently at the age where he wants to mimic everything his older brother does. He does so without realizing his actions

or desires. Unfortunately EJ is at the age where he wants little to do with his younger brother and seeks privacy whenever he can achieve it. As of recently this has become an issue for our house hold as the constant bickering is becoming

tiresome.

**EJ's POV**

Jackson was driving me crazy and for a house as big as ours I felt like I was living in a tent. I made myself scarce as often as possible. Quil was often my sounding board for my frustration.

"What's up man", Quil asked with his familiar high pitch voice as I answered the door. I hoped he didn't get caught in this post adolescent phase, with a voice like his he would for sure be made fun of for the rest of his life.

"Not much, let's get out of here" I replied as I grabbed my coat and moved out the front door. My family was getting on my nerves and it was a relief to have someone else I could hang out with and just be me. Quil was a good friend, smart, witty and always up for a challenge. Some would say his only down fall was his eagerness to attempt everything! This was constantly getting him into trouble and I was a bit surprised to see him today and not raking his front lawn or cleaning the gutters.

He sensed my edginess as we headed toward town on foot.

"Jackson being an ass again"?

"Completely"! I mumbled as we began to pick up our pace.

About four months ago Quil and I watched a boat race and out of pure boredom we picked up a book on how to build a sail boat. We were nearly complete with our project and planned to give our first launch attempt on Saturday. We were heading to the hardware store down town to pick up some stencils and maroon paint we had ordered last month to give her a name.

"You're sure your dad is going to let you use his truck on Saturday"? I asked a little concerned his dad didn't trust him with his pick up.

"Well not exactly but he did say he would help us launch the boat, I just don't think he is going to let me drive".

"Maybe it has to do with the last one being returned in small pieces"? I joked

"Shut up man, that wasn't my fault". He punched me in the arm but I just responded with a chuckle that sent us both laughing harder than the joke deserved.

As we were walking out of the store we spotted Esme and she flagged us down as she was leaving pottery barn. She was constantly shopping around to inspire her ideas. Rarely would you find her watching TV or lounging on a Saturday afternoon.

"Hey boys"! She yelled from across the parking lot.

"Come on over here I want to show you something".

"Hi Mrs. Cullen"

"Oh darling please call me Esme, you know how much I hate formal introductions. Now tell me which of these fabrics you like best with this paint color. She held two sheets of fabric that looked identical in color to me next to a magazine flipped open to a picture of a living room. Simultaneously Quil and I both held up our hand and pointed to opposite fabrics.

"That one"!

"That one"!

We glanced at each other both knowing we couldn't tell the difference between the colors but both understood this conversation would last much longer if we didn't at least attempt.

"Well that's a lot of help" Esme replied while she brushed our fingers away. You could tell she was deep in thought for a second. "Well I will just have to try both I guess". And she chucked the fabrics in her trunk. She looked at her watch and then back at us. "Well look at the time, would you. It's nearly 4:00 PM and I still need to swing by the furniture store before they close.

"Crap, its already 4:00PM"? Quil asked shocked. "Esme do you mind dropping me off at my house, I was supposed to be home a half hour ago"?

"Of course not, hop in".

"Sorry man".

"No worries". I waved and started for home. I strolled as I was in no hurry to get home except I was excited to finish the project and see her complete. She was beautiful and we were very proud of her.

I started up the dirt drive that led to our house. I loved this time of year. The changing of the seasons, everything seemed to come back to life. Trees had their leaves and you could smell the scent of fresh cut grass as everyone began to oil up their mowers.

When I got to the barn I threw up the garage door, flipped on the lights and then froze.

I felt the fury rise within my body as I starred at the childish graffiti that stained our Izzy. On the left side was a huge rainbow in bright colors. Just under it, it read Love Boat. "What the hell"! I yelled throwing down my bag, as I heard a snickering noise behind our storage bins. I stomped over throwing the bins out of my way to uncover Jackson and his friend Brian almost frozen in their places.

"It was just a joke, calm down". Jackson tried to plea as I threw the last bin that barricaded him from my reach. They immediately darted in two directions. Fortunately for Brian he managed to get a clear shot for the door and was wide eyed watching us both. I could have snagged him if I wanted to but my focus was on the little jerk in front of me.

"Your such a little bastard, why did you do that"? I yelled as he attempted to climb the ladder to the loft area. I grabbed his ankle and let him struggle a little bit with his attempt to get free. I wanted to make him fear the pain I was about to inflict on him as long as possible. There was a huge difference in our sizes even though I was only a few years older than him. I was stronger and I was also maturing with my abilities. With one hard yank I sent him smashing down into the trash bins. He let out a small cry but jumped to his feet.

"Stop it EJ, I'm sorry. God". He was cradling his right elbow now and I could see his eyes darting for different escape routes. He made a run for it directly toward the front of the barn. I followed him and in one big leap plowed into him as hard as I could sending us both crashing through the wooden door adjacent to the garage door. I knew I didn't have much time as Brian had immediately raced to the house to get help. Jackson had almost had enough but I wanted to make sure he would stop being such a jerk. I glanced up as I was moving into a better attacking position and saw Brian, Emmitt and Jasper darting toward us. Had Brian not been there I knew I wouldn't have had any extra time but unfortunately for Jackson I did. I reeled back as fast as I could while standing over him and socked him as hard as I could in the jaw. I drew back again landing my knuckles above his right eye. His eye brow split a centimeter a part; blood poured in a thin line down his cheek.

Instantly I felt like I was slammed by a car as Emmett ripped me away from Jackson who immediately began bawling and moaning at the same time.

Jasper was checking him for injuries while Brian stared teary eyed not knowing what to do.

"What are you doing"? Emmett barked at me in a low deep voice. He let out a small growl but made sure to keep it out of ear shot of Brian.

"Look at what he did"! I yelled, trying to defend myself while pointing in the direction of the boat. "He deserves everything he got" I yelled over Emmett's shoulder. Our boat was the one thing that made me feel normal. I had no advantage over my opponent in the construction process. Being strong wouldn't make my boat narrow dynamic or sturdy. We had spent months on our plans and evaluating our competition and it was ours. He tainted something that was perfect.

"I don't care what he did your acting like an animal! Don't move from that spot" he ordered.

I was so disgusted that I flung my body around to face the forest instead of watching him baby my brother. I was about sixty feet from them now but was still in ear shot.

"It looks like he is going to need some stitches in his elbow and brow".

Jackson was still moaning and crying while Emmett and Jasper evaluated the situation.

"I'll take Jackson inside and call Carlisle and Esme on my way. Take Brian home and make sure EJ goes with you, we don't want him running off with his temper at the moment." Jasper commanded as he looked at me perplexed.

Jasper picked up Jackson who now looked very frail in his arms. I was starting to come down from my adrenaline high and felt a flicker of remorse but that was gone as soon as I glanced at my boat. I stood scowling at the back of Jasper's car as he drove away. Emmett was guiding Brian into the front seat, trying to console him and get him to calm down. When he shut the door he turned to me.

"Get in." he commanded. I stood there and met his gaze not moving an inch. There was a long pause and I could tell he was not happy with my disobedience.

"NO, I'm fine." I didn't want to be around any of them they, didn't understand.

"NOW" he yelled, his eyes penetrated my stare.

_Screw you Emmett. _ I stared at him for one last second before I turned on my heels and started walking toward the forest. _Who the hell does he think he i…. _My thoughts were abruptly interrupted as I felt an instant throbbing pain shoot into my upper arm. Emmett was now standing inches from me and gripping my arm. His eyes were angry before but they flickered to something I had never seen and I knew I better start moving.

"Get your ass in that car, NOW." His words spat out between his clenched teeth. He started to direct me faster than I wanted to move toward the car.

I climbed into the back seat and sat quietly as we drove to Brian's house. Emmett was consoling Brian most of the way and by the time we got there he had managed to gain control of himself. Emmett made me sit in the car while he went in and apologized for my behavior and explained things to his mother.

I kept getting a flash of the cruel name written across our beautiful sail boat. I was still furious and wanted nothing more than to smash a hole through this child proof window. My chest was tight and my breaths were becoming rapid.

Emmett was walking back toward the car. I starred directly at him and held my gaze longer then I would have normally when in a situation like this. I felt numb; I didn't feel anything for what I had done to Jackson. I didn't feel guilt or remorse I just felt cold. What was wrong with me? We got into the car and Emmitt turned to face me.

_What did he want me to say? I was sorry? That I felt awful for hurting my little brother? But I didn't._ I shrugged my shoulders and looked out the window. There was a growl deep in Emmett's throat that showed he disapproved of my response. That was the last of our conversation until we got home.

As we pulled up the drive, Carlisle and Esme's cars were parked in the driveway at a sharp angle. This meant one of two things; first they were planning on leaving again shortly or two they were in a hurry to get inside. I glanced at the clock on the dashboard while we pulled into the garage, 2:35pm. Carlisle had the early shift and should have been done around 4:00pm today, which meant he was not planning on going back to the office. I leaned heavily back into the cars leather seats and stared above as Emmett got out of the car. He opened my door but did not say a word, just made his way inside. _I don't want to go in there_. I finally conjured enough energy to begin my trek inside. I slowly moved one foot out of the car before I was taken back.

"Ohhh!" I gasped as my Dad was now three inches from my face. Both of his hands were grasping the car. A noticed a few paint chips crumble under his finger tips. He was doing his best to calm himself, but I knew better. When he doesn't talk is when he is most angry with me. As he stared down on me, my stomach began to turn. His upper lip had a small curl, exposing his gleaming white teeth and his eyes could cut glass as he stared directly at me.

When he began to speak, it was barely audible.

"This will never happen again, do you understand me?"

He waited for my response, not moving an inch from his gaze. The shrill in his voice sent shivers down my back. I could only manage to nod my head slowly as tears began to well. Although Edward was my dad, my blood, he scared me more than the rest of my non biological family. So much more serious than the rest of my family, he expected me to be perfect as he feared something might happen.

"We will discuss this further when I am able to calm myself. Until then I don't want to hear a word from you".

With that he backed away from the car opening up a small entrance for me to pass. As I got up I avoided his gaze as much as possible. I exhaled loudly, forgetting I had been holding my breath and dragged my heavy feet forward.

Jackson was lying on the couch with his elbow propped up on two pillows and had an ice pack on his jaw. I stared at him but again clear of all emotion. He was out of it; clearly from the pain medication they had dosed him with at the hospital. A bruise was beginning to form around his jaw and down through his neck. His eyes were swollen, red and closed. I made my gaze around the rest of the room. Everyone seemed to be staring at me. Carlisle and Esme stood and began to make their way to the kitchen.

"He has a concussion and six stitches". Carlisle recited his injuries and looked at me for my reaction, an answer.

I knew I should tell them I was sorry, that I didn't mean to hurt him but I couldn't. _Say something you idiot, just say anything. _

"He deserved it." I grumbled with my teeth clenched and anger fuming in my body. _Oh, god did I say that out loud? _

"Deserved it?" Rosalie growled.

I glared at her and met her disgusted gaze with pure anger. Carlisle stepped between us.

Esme grabbed my face so I looked into her eyes. "What is wrong with you? This is not you?"

I moved my face from her grip and looked away.

"This behavior is intolerable and inexcusable." Carlisle spoke in a low calm voice but it too sent small shivers through my body. "We do not hurt our own E.J."

_Inexcusable, why? One thing I was certain was that Brayden would never lay a hand on my things again. This is what I wanted to say but couldn't. I was out numbered._

"Whatever." Was all I said and turned my back to my family.

"Go to your room Edward Jacob". Carlisle was doing his best to remain calm but he too was having trouble controlling his anger, something very rare for him.

Not looking back I turned and walked up the stairs. I laid on my bed face up and stared at the ceiling. I replayed Esme's question in my head. _What is wrong with you? What was wrong with me?_ I broke my little brother's jaw and I didn't feel any remorse. I felt hard, like nothing mattered to me. I suddenly felt exhausted and every muscle in my body ached for rest. I laid down on my bed and soon dozed off.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke with the sun pushing its way through my curtains. The dull ache in my hand brought me back to the reality that I had to face my family when I went down stairs. I flexed my hand a few times remembering how hard I punched my little brother. _He's probably hurting more than I am this morning. I'm such an asshole. _

I contemplated making my way next door to Jackson's room to see how he was feeling. _But what would I say? Sorry I beat the shit out of you? _The thought of facing him was making my stomach sour. I'm sure he hates me. I threw a t-shirt on and made the short yet seemingly long journey to my brother's room.

Jackson's door was open slightly and I peeked inside. He lay in bed half heartedly watching TV. Inhaling I slowly opened his door giving a small knock. As our eyes met I knew I was the last Cullen member Jackson was expecting. He answered my apologetic look by turning on his side to avoid any further eye contact. _This is not going to be easy. _I sat down on the chair closest to his bed but still gave him a comfortable distance. _I can't change the past, so here it goes._

"Jackson…..I'm really sorry for hurting you". I waited for a response but he remained motionless and non responsive. I guess I shouldn't expect much else.

"I know you're pissed at me and I expect you to be…I just want you to know I'm really sorry." Again I waited for a response but didn't get one.

"You're my little brother and I'm supposed to be protecting you not hurting you".

I stood up looking down at his small body. He seemed so young to me at that moment. I knew it was going to take some time for Jackson to come around and then even more time for him to trust me again, I just hoped it was sooner than later.

I gently closed the door and decided I had to rip the band aid of and face the rest of them. I took my time hoping the appropriate words would come to me as my feet dropped heavily down the stairs. I realized now that my parents and grandparents were in the living room. I didn't have time to determine if that was good or bad. When I reached the bottom of the stairs I glanced into the living room to assess the situation. I was too much of a coward to make eye contact but could feel the stares of my family cutting into my skin.

The awkward silence didn't last long as Carlisle stood up and addressed everyone.

"Why don't we take this into the dining room."

As everyone made their way past me and into the dining room I held my head down still ashamed to look at my family. My mom paused by my side placing an encouraging hand on my shoulder. As I stood up she guided me to the dining room to join the rest of my family. I took my seat between my parents leaning back in my chair but keeping my head down.

"E.J." my father began. "Although we are very disappointed in your behavior and upset that you would hurt Jackson so violently we are concerned about you". His voice was calm and he seemed much more collected than he had when I was getting out of the car the day before.

"You seem to be acting out much more lately and we're not sure why".

"I don't know…." I mumbled. "He just pissed me off and I couldn't control myself".

"You know this family does not tolerate harming one another. You have to learn to control your emotions and I'm not referring to just this situation". Carlisle was looking at me with concern but was also stern with his words.

"I know I shouldn't have reacted the way I did but I don't know what else to do. He is constantly going through my things and invading my privacy". _And nobody else does anything about it. _

My father heard my last thought and gave me a disapproving glare, causing me to shift in my seat.

"When you are frustrated you need to talk to one of us and allow us to make the decision. Never is hitting your brother acceptable, do you understand"?

"Okay". _Although we all know he gets whatever he wants. I'm sorry I hurt Jackson so badly but I'm not sorry I hit him. Shit, I'm sure my dad heard that. _

My dad cleared his throat and stood up. His eyes moved from my mom to Carlisle and I knew there was a silent conversation going on. "Carlisle do you mind if E.J. and I borrow your study?" With that I knew my dad was planning to do more than ground me and this angered me. I crossed my arms and glared at him. _This is really fucking fair. When's the last time Jackson or Nessie were punished? _ I avoided eye contact with him but he and I both knew I wanted him to hear my thoughts. I did this when I wasn't quite brave enough to say them out loud.

"Watch your tone E.J".

"What? I didn't say anything". I knew I was pressing my luck but it didn't seem to stop the thoughts from forming in my head.

"Go wait for me in Carlisle's office and I would suggest you limit your back chat unless you want to repeat your punishment this evening." My dad wasn't big on theatrics or unanswered threats so I decided to shut up and make my way upstairs.

I was looking out the window when my father closed the door behind him. He sat down on the couch and asked me to join him.

_Can we just get this over with and avoid the heart to heart? I know what I did was wrong and the sooner my ass stops stinging the better. _

"I've had enough of your disobedience for today, now get over here and sit down."

I walked over and sat at the opposite end of the couch as far away as I could get.

"I would like for you and I to work on controlling your temper and emotions. We are worried that your impulsiveness may be even harder to control in the future as your abilities continue to grow".

"Dad it's not like I'm going to kill someone, he just pissed me off". _Did they think I was going to go all blood crazy on someone? Na I'll leave that to Uncle Jasper. _ I smirked at my own joke but realized my dad wasn't in the mood for comedy. "Sorry".

"This isn't a game E.J. and you need to realize just how powerful we are. Although your abilities have not fully matured you need to prepare yourself to be placed in challenging situations. When someone smaller than you or weaker than you, which soon is going to be almost everyone you know tests your patience you must control yourself".

"What am I suppose to do just let people walk all over me". _What's the point of having abilities if I can't use them?_

"E.J. your abilities are only a small part of who you are. They do not define you as a person. We will continue to work on controlling emotions and I think your Uncle Jasper will be a great mentor to you as well".

"Alright I'll work on it".

"Now we still need to address your behavior from yesterday. You know we do not tolerate your actions. I hope you accept your punishment and we can move forward".

_Accept it? You mean not throw a fit about it? It's not like I have a choice. _ My dad stood and motioned for me over to Carlisle's desk.

I rested my elbows on the desk and bit the sleeve of my t-shirt. _God I hate this. _The first smack startled me and although I intended to remain silent I couldn't help the small yelp that leaked from my lips.

"In this family there are consequences to our actions in which you are not pardoned".

Five more swats landed on my backside and I was starting to tremble slightly. Trying my best to not cry I could feel the back of my throat closing and new if he didn't stop soon I wasn't going to be able to hold it in any longer.

"I hope you think twice about harming your brother next time you are upset". My father spoke while landing five more against my jeans.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry". I pleaded with him hoping it would draw this to a close sooner. He landed five more excruciating swats before directing me into a standing position. My eyes welled with tears and I couldn't bring myself to look at him. He lifted my chin to match his gaze and told me he loved me.

I sat in Carlisle's study until I was able to compose myself and make my way to my bedroom. I just wanted to be alone and not face anyone. I'm sure they all heard my punishment which easily resonated through the house and a mile away.

As I made my way to my bedroom I had to pass both Nessie and Jackson's doors. I wished I could make a bee line straight to my room without seeing anyone but of course that never happens in this house. Nessie stepped into her door way and quickly tossed me something while giving me a sympathetic look. The object instantly made my hand cold and without looking down I realized Nessie tossed me an ice pack. I gave her a half smile and a nod to express my appreciation. _I certainly could use this right now. _

I shut the door to my bedroom and flipped on the TV plopping myself onto the bean bag chair. It only took half a second to realize I had made a mistake landing on my backside. I jumped up and rolled over to my stomach and balanced the icepack on my rear.

As I was flipping through the channels I heard a soft knock on my door.

_Seriously mom I am not in the mood to chat right now. _"Yea….come in".

The door etched open and I saw Jackson's sandy blond hair peak around the edge. He looked at me a moment not sure what to say. I responded by pulling over another bean bag next to mine and pushing the remote towards him. He recognized my gesture as he rarely had control over the TV in my room.

"Um, so how's your jaw". I asked not sure what to say.

"About as good as your ass". Jackson replied with a smirk on his face. I let out a hardy laugh as my little brother lightened the situation. Although we were both physically uncomfortable it was good to have things back to normal.


	6. Chapter 6

8

Lately everywhere I went I was noticing women. Age, color, size, none of it mattered, I found them all beautiful. It was like someone had turned on the light switch in a dark room and I could see. It happened almost immediately, the notable differences between the male and female body were jutting out at me. It was like every girl I saw had a million signs attached to her body drawing my eyes to areas I know, out of common courtesy I should not be starring at. I had found women attractive before but this was different. My body was aching for something, but I didn't know what. Did every teenage boy feel like this? Had I dropped to the low level of objectifying women?

The first few days after that morning were the most challenging. It was like women were everywhere. Why did Mrs. Lambert, who by the way had three kids in college have to wear the v neck blouse with the blue sapphire necklace that naturally made my eyes follow the descending chain just above her breast line. Meredith sat in front of me and kept flinging her hair from one shoulder to the other. As she did so, her hair brushed her upper back, exposing her bare shoulder blades and neck. I then focused on her neck, outlining the patterns of her skin with my eyes. It was a little warm today and her skin was glowing with a small layer of sweat. Meredith had sat in front of me for the past six weeks, how had I not noticed her amazing scent. I started to fantasize about getting from my seat and brushing my lips against the base of her neck and tasting her skin. "" The bell rang, rattling me from my illusion. I shook my head and made my way to the door, slightly confused about my inability to control my thoughts.

The next period was lunch and I decided to spend it in my car listening to music and trying control my emotions. What was going on with me? My phone vibrated in my pocket, it was a text message from Alan S. "Bonfire the spot BYOB or $5". Alan and I really weren't friends, but we were in a small town and the more people that attended made it feel like it was a little bigger, so everyone was usually invited to any type of gathering. My desire to mainstream with the rest of the high school population was starting to dwindle since I was beginning to realize I would never truly be one of them. I could pretend but I would never develop full relationships with anyone, having to hide my family's identity. How would I ever have a girlfriend? She would eventually catch on that I would never grow facial hair or wrinkle. She would look like a pedophile ten years from now. As my thoughts grew more and more depressing I turned the car off and headed in for algebra. The halls were buzzing with plans for tonight's party. Plans for beer pong, play lists and lies to tell parents were all around us.

I decided I would go, no sense sitting at home. What would I tell Esme and Carlisle? I could tell them I was just going out for a bit and not sure what we were doing. A lot of kids cruse around town aimlessly and usually end up in the movie theatre parking lot. My family can be over protective because we don't really know what can happen to me. I've never been drunk but as I'm reaching my teenage years they are becoming more worried about me drinking and driving, alcohol poisoning or what the chemical reaction would be. I've promised them multiple times that I would not drink and if it ever got to the point that I really wanted to I would do it under their supervision.

Who wants to get drunk with a bunch of overly cautious vampires that don't like alcohol? I chuckled as I imagined Carlisle taking my blood pressure every five minutes after I finished a beer, buzz kill. I'm sure they would only allow me a few beers anyhow. I planned on experimenting with alcohol but probably not with my family around. I just told them that so it would ease their worry. I didn't really have the desire to drink anyway. I always thought people acted like idiots when they drank and were not very interesting to talk to.

Just then I got another text message. Rarely did we get them out side of the lunch hour because our phones could get confiscated for a week. The fear of being without a cell for an entire week usually deterred their use during class time. I reached into my pocket, careful so that I was not noticed. It was from Meredith. Oh god, did she notice me staring at her neck and then I realized that was stupid as her head was facing the front of the room. I flipped open my phone and pressed receive. "Are you going to Alan's party"? A rush of emotions filled me, was she asking me to go with her? How did she get my number? I decided to underplay my excitement. "Not sure yet, you"? "I was hoping we could ride together? " Okay so I was definitely going to go now and was more pumped then before. I started to day dream about us at the party, hanging out with Meredith while the noise of the party was a hum in the back ground. I responded "pick you up at 9pm"?

The remainder of the day flew by pretty quick. It was Friday, my day to take Jackson out for a little one on one time. It was our thing, we did it every Friday after I got out of school. It was Carlisle's idea. He thought if Jackson had me all to myself at least once a week it would ease some of his jealousy when I wanted to be alone with friends. So far it has been great and I'm beginning to look forward to our Friday evenings as much as him. Just a few hours meant a lot to him and to me but I didn't show it so much on my sleeve.

I pulled into the parking lot in line with the other waiting parents and sitters. I saw Jackson from a distance exchanging his secret hand shake with Brian. About two weeks ago they decided they needed a secret club which required all members to know the secret handshake. They diligently spent the entire afternoon with finger snaps and knuckle bumps. I loved seeing him with his friends. It made me think he may have a better chance at normalcy than me. He was already twelve. Although his innocence would not last forever he would have more time to live as a child. Our maturation and growth slowed to normal speed at the same time, me at fifteen and Jackson at eleven. No one knows why but for now it seems we both are growing at a normal pace.

A family friend believes the stress of our past and the transition to our new lives was forcing us to mature quickly.

The car door slammed shut waking me from my memory. "WHATS UP? Lets get outta here". I put the car in drive and we headed for down town. We were going to get ice cream and then walk around a few junk stores for hidden treasures. It was one of our favorite things to do. I thought Jackson would become an inventor when he grew up or at least an engineer. He loved to build things and he needed little assistance with coming up with his next big invention. Jackson found an old school tape player that he had to have.

"This is perfect"! He bellowed as he picked it up and dusted it off.

It was almost six now and the stores were closing for the day. On cue Alice called telling us to hurry home so Jackson could back for his sleep over Brian was planning on inviting him to.

"Ice cream again? You may turn yourself into a bowl of ice cream if your not to careful". Esme kissed Jackson on the forehead and told him he better go clean up before they leave. He jumped on Alice's back as she darted up the stairs. Everyone was home today except Mom and Jasper. My dad was on the piano, Emmitt and Rosalie were in the garage working on the new engine that just came in and Carlisle must have gotten off work early.

"How was your day?" Carlisle asked.

"Alright, I'm starting to think I don't want to be in high school anymore though". I threw my bag down and headed to the living room to lie on the couch and listen to my dad. He was playing something softly as if he was working out the kinks. It was hard to tell sometimes thought because it all sounded to pretty.

We got into the discussion of how monotonous life had become and that I was finding it a little challenging to have the same interests as my peers. Rosalie and Emmitt joined the conversation and agreed with me. I felt a little bit childish for complaining seeing how they had graduated from 23 different high schools over the years.

I decided not to lie about where I was going tonight because it was pretty much impossible to do so anyway. However I didn't want to mention that I had a date and no parents were going to be around.

"Is it alright if I go to a bonfire tonight with some people from school dad" I heard my dad pause as he thought for a moment.

"I don't see why not. Who is having the bonfire?"

"Just some kids from school" I responded hoping he would drop the questions. I heard his piano bench brush slightly on the hardwood floor as he made his way into the living room. As he walked in I averted my eyes and pretended to stare at the ceiling.

"Who's house is it going to be at and who will you be going with?"

"I dunno". I was embarrassed to tell them I kind of had a date with Meredith. We hadn't discussed dating yet and I was afraid it was going to turn into a big conversation.

Carlisle looked at Esme and then back at me. "EJ, I'm sure your father wants you to have a good time with your friends but you understand his concern".

"I told you, people from school. You act like you don't already know everyone that lives in this town. What's the big deal? Do you want me to wear a tracking device?" My tone was to sharp and disrespectful and I knew it as soon as it came out, but why did I have to give them so many details?

"Your tone for this conversation is not appropriate and if you continue to speak to us like this you will not be going anywhere. Understood?" My dad was not a bluffer and disrespecting anyone in my family, specifically my parents or grandparents was a quick way to earn a week of house arrest.

"Sorry" I mumbled barely audible.

"When you are ready to discuss this further and cover the details we can talk about you attending the bonfire".

I stood at the base of the stairs and glanced at the clock. It was already 7pm and I needed to get this out of the way as soon as possible. I scanned the premises and formalized two very convincing scenarios for attending the bonfire. In the end I decided on the truth.

"I want to take Meredith to the bonfire". I paused to take in their reaction, but there wasn't much of one. "The bonfire isn't at a house, it's on Clear Lake just pass the roaring brook pull in". I knew this was going to be the kicker, an unsupervised party.

"Thank you for being honest, why don't you take Jackson to his sleep over and we can discuss it a minute."

I nodded and headed up stairs to hurry him along. I know they don't like me attending parties when parents aren't home but how many kids have parental supervision at their parties. We lived a few miles out of town so I was hoping by the time I got back I would get the go ahead to start planning my evening. After all this was my first date.

When I got back home we went back and forth with curfew and details in which I was to act responsible. I was also expected to be very respectful toward my date even if it turned out we were not a good pair. I had to promise them I would introduce myself to her parents when I went to pick her up. I tried to argue that people my age don't do that anymore but it was a part of the agreement.

It had clearly gotten out that I had my first real date and when I went up to my room there was Alice with an assortment of outfits for me to try on.

"I'm going to a bonfire Alice"!

"Yes and I think I picked out the perfect outfit for you". There was no arguing and she did have good taste so I went with her suggestion.

"Thanks".

"Are you nervous"? She asked with a concerned half smile. I was the most comfortable talking about embarrassing things with Alice because she always made me feel like whatever I was feeling was natural.

"A little bit but not too much, were just hanging out". I was to my surprise much more nervous than I anticipated, I feared rejection most of all. Alice let me be so I could change and get ready for the evening. Although we had a packed house, most of the time my family was good at sensing when someone else needed privacy, with the exception of Jackson who wanted to be in my life 24 hours a day.

Retreating from the shower I scanned the assortment of cologne on my vanity. I settled on a subtle fragrance that hopefully would be appealing to Meredith. I stopped using cologne a while back as my senses were becoming more acute and strong smells irritated me but I thought I might give it another try this evening.

**Bonfire**

As we pulled up we could see the glowing haze yards away. From the cars it looked as if the entire school was attending. From the driver's seat I inhaled a long breath of lavender shampoo and lotion. She looked beautiful but I still couldn't figure out why she suddenly wanted me to take her out.

"Are you ready?" She asked as she started to open her door. "Yeah lets go" I replied focusing myself back in the moment.

A soccer ball flew in my direction and I caught it just before it landed in the lake.

"Thanks man". Richy yelled as I tossed the ball back in his direction.

I scanned the scene and instantly picked up that the groups were exactly the same as they were at school. A few people surrounded a pick up that was playing music and had a keg in the back of the bed. Mitch Goldbloom must have taken it from his father's party store. This town is too small for a fake ID to work. Lesley Grey was playing her guitar on a picnic table accompanied by five or six people that swayed to her horrible rendition of "Layla" by Eric Clapton. Either way everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. The laughter was light and genuine.

"EJ lets go grab a beer from Mitch's truck". "I'm good but I'll go with you". We walked over to the back of the truck and Meredith asked for a beer. "That depends, what do I get in return"? Mitch replied as I closed the gap between us. He was joking and didn't really expect anything in return. He was always a flirt with any female he encountered. "I won't rat you out to Mrs. Lambert for running over her mailbox with your car. How does that sound".

"Drink up my lady". He handed her a beer and told her it was a house cup. "How did you know I hit that mailbox"?

"Sarah Daniels and I were trying a short cut through Compton circle and we saw you back right into it. You know you could just tell her and buy her a new mailbox." I liked that Meredith was the honest type.

"I wasn't suppose to have the car that day. Hey you guys want to bong a beer?"

"Ahh, I don't know I don't drink much really". Meredith replied.

"I'm driving, thanks though". Mitch was a typical tool and thought being Forks primary supplier for underage drinking made him more likeable.

"It's easy and everyone has to try it at least once right"?

There were two beer bongs in constant use and Mitch persuaded Meredith to try it. To everyone's surprise she was pretty good at it. We ended up hanging out at the truck while Meredith pounded beer after beer with these jokers. I realized I needed to find a way to slow her down.

"Meredith lets go for a walk". I gently nudged her away from the crowd after she slammed another beer. She was clearly drunk as she grabbed my hand and yanked me towards the lake. We walked out to the small dock and hung our feet off the end.

"EJ" she babbled as there was a few moments of silence between us. "Meredith, why did you ask me out tonight"? I asked truly fascinated by her confidence and eagerness. She was very popular, attractive and never seemed to have a problem finding a date.

"Because I couldn't figure out why you've never asked me out". She paused and laughed a little. "Everyone else has". She leaned over, lips parted and eyes half open, she looked a little sick now and very drunk. It occurred to me then that she was trying to kiss me. Her lips landed just beside my left eye and I could feel a bit of saliva just above my cheek bone from her sloppy attempt at a kiss. What was she doing? I gently took her shoulders and removed her from my face. I looked at her as she half laughed and drooled down the side of her cheek. She wasn't hammered but she was drunk and in no way was her attempt to seduce me attractive. I stood up and helped her to her feet.

"Lets get you home" I said and tried to direct us toward the other end of the dock.

"NO, I don't want to go home yet". She barked. Ok, this was getting a little annoying; I was becoming a babysitter. I followed behind her as she made her way to the truck to fill up her cup. I kept my distance but as soon as she bonged another beer I had enough. How was I supposed to drop her off at her moms if she couldn't walk through the door? I grabbed her by the underarm and told her we were leaving.

"You've had enough, were going". I was mad this night turned into me babysitting someone that couldn't control her alcohol. She resisted at first but I was walking fast and before she knew it she was in my car with her seat belt on.

"What are you doing, I told you I didn't want to leave". She snarled as I got into the driver's seat. I threw the car in park and snapped my head in her direction. I was done dealing with her drunkin stooper.

"Yeah well, I didn't know I was going out with an immature drunk that can't hold her alcohol. Honestly, what part of this night was enjoyable?" I didn't yell or even raise my voice but I stared deep into her gaze and made her jump. She turned her head out the window and I threw the car in gear. As I pulled out of the drive I heard a small sniffle coming from the passenger seat. Oh great, now she was crying.

I pulled into her driveway and she made no attempt to get out of the car. Instead she cradled her face in her hands and started to cry harder than before.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she mumbled. Argh, now what was I suppose to do? "Meredith, I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier, I was just hoping we could have gotten to know each other a little better tonight".

She wiped her face and glanced up at the ceiling of the car.

"I'm really sorry I ruined your night, I don't usually drink". She started to get out of the car and I quickly got out to help her to her door.

"Won't you get into trouble"? I asked afraid her parents would be waiting as soon as she walked in the door. "No, my parents go to bed by ten".

"Thanks". She said, as she put the key into the lock. She was having trouble looking me in the face. Now, I felt bad for her and was mad I made her feel ashamed earlier.

"I'll see you at school" and she shut the door.

I sat in my car and looked at her house. What would it be like to have parents that are in bed by 10pm? Mine were so overly protective. I could barely do anything without the third degree. I knew my vulnerability scared them for the most part. Humans were so fragile. I wished my powers would mature faster.

I glanced down at the clock and it was 12:22am. I sped off to make it home by 12:30am.

Unlike Meredith's house, every light was on when I pulled in the driveway, typical for my family. If Emmet hadn't sound proofed my room, I don't think I would of gotten any sleep over the past six years.

"How was the bonfire?" Jasper asked as I walked in the door.

"Oh, just a blaaaaast" I replied drawing out the word blast in order for him to catch on to my sarcasm.

I walked into the living room and through myself down on the recliner.

Jackson sat across from me channel surfing. "What's wrong EJ did she turn you down or were her six other boyfriends at the bonfire". He snickered.

I grabbed the pillow next to me and wiped it across the room. It hit him in the back of the head and he turned around and starred at me. "I thought you had a sleep over? What happened did you piss the bed?" I knew just how to push his buttons.

"No asshole Brian got really sick and his mom didn't want me to catch the flu".

"Hey I don't want to hear that language from you. Upstairs you need to go to bed anyway". Jasper came to my rescue.

"Whatever EJ". He got up and went up to his room but slammed me with the pillow before he left.

I began to spring up from the recliner but it was no good as my dad grabbed my arm.  
"No" was all he said.

**Two weeks later**

Meredith and I hadn't spoken much since the bonfire until we were paired to do our English project together. My family was spending the evening hunting so we decided to hang out at my house. She had never been over before so I had to give her the full tour.

We ended up in my room because that was where my lap top was and she was planning on writing as we went. Pen and paper just seemed like a waste of time.

"So we never did talk about the bonfire night" she began.

"What's there to talk about"? I asked a little uneasy

"I'm really sorry for acting like such an idiot. That was only like the second time I had ever drank".

"Don't worry about it. My eyeball is completely recovered from your lips". I joked trying to lighten the mood.

"What if I have better aim next time?" she almost whispered. I was not expecting this at all! Was she really into me? Next time? Does she want me to kiss her now?

By this time our eyes were completely locked on one another until she shyly glanced down.

"Next time?" I asked not taking my eyes off of her. She looked beautiful and a little scared that it excited me more and more.

I could feel her body moving toward me that it seemed like we were in slow motion. Her lips touched mine and I felt ecstatic. We kissed long and hard and began to move our hands on each other's bodies. In one swift movement I picked her up and moved her over to my bed. Her shirt was now a little displaced and I could see the top of her bra and her smooth skin of her breast. She grabbed my thighs to draw me down to her.

"Take your shirt off"? She asked. Her voice was soft but demanding. I took my shirt off before I lowered my body onto hers. Our stomachs touched and I could feel her breast against my body, it felt amazing. I didn't know what we were doing, I just knew I wanted to touch her and taste her as long as possible. She let out a small exasperated breath of enjoyment. She grabbed my hand and entwined our fingers. I held her hand just above our heads but not too forceful while her free hand along my stomach. Her index finger began to explore just below my belt line. She managed to get my belt unfastened with one hand and unbutton my jeans.

I couldn't keep my mouth off of her and I began to explore other areas with my lips. I moved to her ear lobe and grazed my lips against them. I moved down toward her neck kissing as I went. As I began to move lower and lower, something changed. I was no longer just feeling her skin, I was hearing her body and tasting her in the back of my throat. As I moved toward her lower neck, the noise became extremely loud. It was like a loud drum was beating in my ear. I could feel her blood moving through her body. I had to have her. I couldn't control myself, I wanted to taste her, I needed to taste her!

My mouth was watering and I had a severe ach throughout my entire body. It hurt, I couldn't control the pain, the want, the need. My mouth landed on her neck one last time and I could feel her pulse on my tongue. I had to have her. My lips began to curl away, exposing my teeth I was going to have her.

"EJ STOP"!

In that second I flung my head up, still barring my teeth to stare directly into the eyes of Carlisle.

I stood up and looked down at Meredith, who now was frantically putting her shirt back on. I couldn't move, I just stared at her. Carlisle came over grabbed me by the arm and directed me out of the room forcefully in the direction of the stairs, but not in a way Meredith would notice. Something was pulling me towards her, refusing to want to leave.

"Meredith, I think it is time for you to leave, EJ will see you at school". Carlisle said in a very calm voice. She was clearly mortified and thought we just got caught making out. She didn't know what Carlisle truly just interrupted.

Meredith flew down the stairs and out the door. I was standing in the kitchen waiting for her to leave and waiting for my family to speak. No one knew what was going on with me, we didn't know what my desires would be or ever would be. I was breathing heavily and energy surged through me similar to when Jackson and I got into it, but this was far more intense. I braced myself on the island in the kitchen trying to figure out what just happened. I flung open the refrigerator and grabbed the container filled with animal blood. Although not fresh and not human, I was hoping it would stop the burning in the back of my throat and in the pit of my stomach. My teeth ached and I needed to make the pain go away. I flew the top on the floor and guzzled the blood directly from the container. The pain started to subside the more I drank. I grabbed another container and drank as fast as I could.

I turned to see Carlisle, Esme, Edward and Jasper standing in the kitchen almost surrounding me as if I was going to try and flee. I began to feel normal, my urge was gone and I was thinking clearly. Flashes of Meredith dead on my bed began to fill my head. I rested my hands on the refrigerator and began to feel sick.

"I could have killed her, I'm a monster". Was all I could manage to get out. "I wanted to". I could no longer hold my body up and began to fall toward the floor. Edward was there and held me close to his body resting his head against mine. It calmed me some.

Carlisle informed the school that we would be taking an extended vacation would miss the remaining two weeks of school. I spent the next few days wallowing in my bed room not wanting to hang out with anyone. I felt edgy, hyper and confined. Over the next few weeks I went hunting every day with one of my family members. I was never interested in hunting before. Yes I had done it a few times but I really didn't like the taste of blood or spending two hours out of my day running in the woods. Somehow this changed in a matter of two weeks. I now craved warm elk blood which satisfied my hunger in a way human food could not. Again my family found this interesting and documented each hunt and emotion in their journals.

When I first returned to school my family had strict orders to be with me at all times. For the next few weeks Jasper was on me like a hawk, sensing my every emotion. Meredith asked me out again but my family would only approve if it was a double date with Jasper and Alice. The date was flawless and my desires were restrained to a typical teenage boy. Once Jasper finally convinced Carlisle that my emotions were stable around my peers and Meredith things went back to normal. Meredith and I went out a few more times but there was no chemistry there. We started to hang out as friends and it was clear we were not interested in dating each other. However our teenage hormones were present and we would occasionally make out with one another but kept our clothes.

My phone vibrated on my drive home from school.

Quil: Bonfire on the res tonight?

Me: Sounds good man.

Quil: Bring some girls, my cousins are coming.

Me: Nice…I'll see if M knows anyone

Quil: Awesome…9pm

I walked into the kitchen and dropped my bag on the floor and greeted my mom.

"Hey honey, you beat Nessie home"

"Yea I think she was heading over to Jake's later. Hey mom?"

"Yea sweety"

"Quil is having a bonfire on the res tonight is it alright if I go?"

"I don't see why not. I'm assuming Nessie will be going too then?"

"Yea since she can't handle being away from Jacob for more than thirty seconds I assume so".

I picked up Meridith and her two friends at about 8:45pm and we made our way to the reservation. Her friends were attractive and were quickly made off limits by Quil's two cousins. Although Meridith and I were not a couple we didn't really date around each other, it was just uncomfortable so we ended up spending most of the night together. We all sat around the camp fire making jokes and telling embarrassing stories.

"Quil remember that time you thought your moms house was haunted?" His cousin Cal started laughing hysterically.

"Dude I swear it is". Quil replied.

"Dang I forgot the wigi board". Hahahah

"Shut up man".

Meridith was returning from making a phone call to check in with her parents. I grabbed her and pulled her onto my lap wrapping my arms around her into a hug.

"Gotcha" I whispered into her ear. Causing a huge grin to spill across her face.

"Why don't you guys just date you act like it anyway". Nessie chimed in.

"What ever were just friends".

"Yea right….just friends. Hey Cal we're friends do you want to make out and sit on my lap". Quil liked trying to frazzle us.

"More like friends with benefits if you ask me"

We weren't really friends with benefits. Sure we made out a few times after our make out session that was interrupted by Carlisle but there were little emotions involved. However at the moment the thought of us doing more than making out was starting to excite me. Meredith leaned back against my chest and nuzzled into my neck. Her hair smelled amazing and I loved the way her skin felt against my cheek. She shifted on my lap causing an unexpected stiffness in my jeans. God it felt amazing. I shifted in my seat pressing more firmly into Meredith's back side. I held her tight and whispered in her ear.

"Your driving me crazy" As on cue she moved her hips in a slightly rocking motion causing more friction between us. Meredith turned her head towards me causing our lips to graze. She then brushed her lips against mine and took my bottom lip into her mouth sucking lightly. She let out a little moan just loud enough for the two of us to hear.

8


	7. Chapter 7

I gently placed my hand behind Meredith's neck drawing her in even closer. The crackling of the bonfire, the loud conversations and even the music were a distant hum. I grazed my tongue across her bottom lip and could taste her cherry lip gloss she applied earlier in the evening. I allowed myself to temporarily let my guard down. Suddenly I was unconcerned with the others in our sight, Meredith consumed my senses. As I moved my hands to form around her outer thighs I felt a shift within me. The lust was fading and being replaced by something stronger. I dull ache was forming in the back of my throat, causing my hands to shake slightly. _No, this can't be happening._ I thought. _Not again_.

I quickly pulled back releasing our lips. I had to put as much distance between us fast as possible.  
"Get off" I demanded in a low tone trying not to cause alarm.

Confused Meredith flashed an innocent half smile.

"What" she asked half jokingly.

"I said, get off. NOW." I practically picked her up and moved her from my lap. I glanced at Nessie and I knew she understood. I was focusing all my energy on putting distance between us. I ran as fast as I could, not knowing where I was headed. My body was being pulled back toward the bonfire but I resisted and focused on making it to the edge of the woods. When I entered the woods I focused on making it to the beach. Each land mark was a short goal. Something I could focus my thoughts on. I collapsed on the cool sand falling to my knees. The ache was subsiding and I could feel my body calming itself. My emotions were over powered by my relief that I did not harm her. My lungs burned from the fifteen mile stretch to safe ground. _I made it, I made it, I made it_. I recited to myself over and over as my lungs continued to burn from being over worked.

_What is wrong with me? I'm so weak, I lost control. Again. _

_E.J. _? I heard Nessie whisper behind me. Jacob was a few feet behind her ready to intervene if necessary but allowing her to initiate contact. I couldn't face her, not now. I was so ashamed and she didn't understand. She didn't have this problem with Jacob. It was only me, the weak one.

"Leave. Please just go". I was hoping she would comply but I knew she wouldn't.

"It's not your fault". I shook my head and allowed myself to sit back onto the sand more comfortably. _Of course it's my fault. Everyone else can control themselves._ Nessie placed her hand gently on my shoulder. "I'm sorry". She said with sorrow in her voice. She was showing me a memory of the few minutes after I left the bonfire. Jacob had his cell phone in hand, the other signaling Quil to get the girls out of there. "Bella, it's E.J. it's happening again come quick and bring Edward". I shook my head in disgust. My parents must be frantic with worry. I pulled away from Nessie's touch not wanting to see more.

"Please can you just leave me alone? I will wait until they get here. I promise". With that Nessie squeezed my shoulder and stood to move toward Jacob. I could hear them running through the woods at lightning speed. My father was in the lead with my mother close beside him. As they reached the edge of the woods they were met by Nessie and Jacob.

"Renesme, is he alright? Is anyone…injured?"

"No one is injured but he doesn't want to talk".

My mother turned to Jasper and he nodded. The ache in my chest was starting to ease and I knew it was my uncle. I did not have enough energy to fight his help.

"Is he alright Jasper". My mother's voice was filled with concern. Jasper turned to her not wanting to fill her fear with more concern.

"He is ashamed and sad Bella." Jasper's voice was almost a whisper.

My parents were moving toward me now while the other's remained. They didn't say a word just sat down next to me. My father placed a hand on my knee while my mom wrapped her arms around me pulling me into a warm embrace. As undeserving as I was for their sympathy I was grateful to be in their arms. We sat there for a long while not saying anything. The others had already begun their trek back to home. I was able to gather myself a few moments later and was ready to return. Our walk home was quiet. I was thankful they were not pushing me to discuss the details as they would emerge soon enough.

As we walked up the long driveway I could see the majority of our family through our kitchen window gathered around the island. _God I don't want to deal with this now. I just want to go to bed. _

Before we made our way up the steps I turned to my parents and for the first time this evening looked them in the eye. "Can we discuss this in the morning please? I just want to go to bed."

I was pulled into a hug by both of them. "Yes of course".

I turned and made my way to my bedroom hoping to ignore my life for a few hours while I slept.

For the first time since I left the bonfire I remembered I had my phone in my pocket. I pulled it out to lay it on my end table but before I laid it down I saw I had a text message from Meredith.

_Great._

"Thanks for ditching me. You're a jerk"

I flipped my phone shut, tossing it on my end table.

_Maybe I am a Jerk. If that's what keeps her away from me I'm fine with that._

As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out.

The chill of the morning air hit me instantly as Emmett yanked the last layer of warmth from my bed.

"Gooooooood Morning"

"Emmett, what the hell"?

"We're hitting the mountains today little buddy".

I dragged myself to a sitting position knowing I was not getting out of this one.

Urgh, fine can you give me ten minutes.

Two weeks later:

I sat in statistics with my head tilted back counting the holes in the two feet by three feet square of drywall. I was growing so bored with my classes I was having a difficult time pretending to pay attention. I grasp concepts very easily and understand the work when I choose to do my homework or complete the assigned readings but what's the point? This was all a façade anyway. In reality I could learn this material in a fraction of the time that was allotted. When the time comes that I need some of this useless information I will make sure to read a text book. However I don't anticipate this happening so I could really care less. Initially it was important to me to do well in school. I wanted to please my teachers and I wanted to gain the respect of my peers. I actively engaged in the topics being discussed and paid attention through most of the hour. This too was pointless. There was no true competition for me and I felt like a fraud. Each day I care less about what others think of me. I have no real friends except Quil on the reservation. You can't truly develop friendships with people you lie to daily.

"Mr. Cullen…."

Shit, did he just call my name?

I pulled my gaze from the drywall ceiling to see Mr. Fry looking at me with an annoyed look.

"I'm sorry, what?" I could feel the uncomfortable looks waiting for my response. I knew Jasper was a few seats behind me and probably a little disappointed in my lack of effort.

"Do you have the answer to problem nine"?

"Uh no, I mean I don't know".

"Maybe if you spent more time following our lesson you will have the answer next time I call on you".

_Actually I'm pretty sure I won't have the answer next time and no you are not embarrassing me you idiot._ Although I wanted to scream at him I did not want to spend a day in study hall. That may be more boring than his lectures. I made a vague attempt to act interested through the remaining ten minutes of class. The bell finally rang and I was released from stat torture.

Jasper flanked me from the left as I made my way to my locker. His eyes tore into me without saying a word. His eye brows were slightly narrowed and he made direct eye contact making it difficult for me to want to look at him. I don't know what it is with Uncle Jasper but he is not someone you want on your bad side. I turned away acting as if I hadn't noticed his annoyance and started to dial the combination of the pad lock. Jasper grasped my lock in his hand before I could turn to my second digit. I turned my head slowly to meet his gaze matching his annoyed expression.

"What"?

"You know what".

"It's no big deal Jasper I can pull an A in his class with my eyes closed if I wanted to".

"Your drawing attention and it needs to stop". He walked away leaving me at my locker.

It was just Alice, Jasper, Nessie and I attending school this year. My parents wanted high school to be as real of an experience as possible by allowing us to attend without them. However Alice and Jasper will remain our siblings over the next four years keeping tabs on us.

Today was miserable and it just seemed to be getting worse. As I turned to make my way to the cafeteria I noticed Meredith grab her new boyfriend's hand making sure I noticed. I knew she was playing games and trying to make me jealous as she turned around to see if I was watching. I wasn't sure what my feelings were but I knew I was not angry. I already knew I didn't have feelings for her but I was envious. She had something I probably will never have. She had a real friend, someone she could be honest with.

Meredith continued her games with me throughout lunch. She ran her fingers though his hair and made sure to laugh at all his jokes even though they lacked humor all while stealing glances at me. I rolled my eyes pulling myself back to my family. I spent little time socializing with them first semester while we were at school. I had been eager to develop relationships with my new classmates. I wanted to go to parties and experience normal teenage problems. However each day I walk through the doors I have less of a desire to talk to people I know I will have to leave in four short years. Never having a lasting relationship what was the point? I could feel myself distancing my emotions from my human friends and building walls around everyone, including my family. I was growing irritable with the isolation I was creating but had no other solution.

Nessie recognized my growing change before anyone else. She will always understand me. Our connection as strange as it may be is special to both of us. I am grateful for her and appreciate her unconditional love although I sometimes have a difficult time recognizing it.

She watched me as I turned back to the table and leaned back into my chair.

"Who is she kidding" Nessie asked trying to sympathize with me.

"Screw her I don't care. She can be the school slut all she wants".

Jasper looked at Alice as he normally does. I swear they were the ones that could read each other's minds.

"Don't let it bother you E.J. I thought you didn't like her anyway"?

"I don't fuckin like her Alice". I snapped under my breath. "She's trying to make me jealous by flirting with that idiot". I knew Alice was trying to make me feel better but my frustration aimed at anyone in my path.

Jasper cleared his throat and gave me a warning glare. I don't know where my anger is coming from and I wish I wasn't taking it out on my family.

I stood up rolling my eyes, tossing my trash on my tray. "Whatever" I said and walked away.

I saw Meredith finally breaking away from her friends as she walked to the bathroom. _I'm not putting up with this shit anymore. _ I followed her into the women's restroom and shut the door behind me and slid the lock to the left. Meredith turned around and jumped when she saw me standing there. "What the hell E.J. get out of here".

"Cut the crap Meredith".

"What are you talking about".

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Stop trying to make me jealous, it's not working".

"Get over yourself, if you're jealous that's your problem".

My temper was starting to grow as she played dumb. "Give it a rest. You're basically throwing yourself at Sean every time I walk by. You're acting like a slut".

"Fuck off E.J. get out of my way". Meredith tried to push me aside so she could open the door. I let her by but placed one hand on the door above my head. Her back was now facing my chest. I leaned in closer to her so our bodies were brushing against one another. I pushed her hair away from her ear and heard her inhale a deep breath. She was nervous but not stopping me. I grazed her ear lobe with my bottom lip and whispered in her hear.

"What's the matter? You want to finish what we started? No one is going to interrupt us now". I turned her around gently pinning her against the bathroom door. Our eyes locked and I could feel her lust as she opened her mouth slightly leaning in to kiss me. I pulled my head back just out of her reach.

"Tell me" I said while I let our lips touch for the first time and then pulling myself back.

"Tell you what"? she said growing impatient.

"You want me and you were trying to make me jealous". She didn't want to admit it but she wanted me closer.

"Okay…your right".

"Right about what"? She was getting a little embarrassed now. I kissed her neck to bring her back to the moment.

"I fuckin want you okay. I like Sean and I'm glad were dating but I miss the way you look at me".

I let a small grin come across my face. I finally let our lips fully connect and I kissed her hard and long. She was grinding herself against me making me push her back against the door. I wanted her so bad even though I wasn't sure what to do. This wasn't going to change anything between us and we both knew it. I think that's what was so exciting about the moment. I wasn't done with my game yet though. She was going to pay for trying to make me jealous. She was in control earlier but now it was completely me.

"Tell me your sorry".

She let out a small annoyed moan. "Tell me".

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" She bucked her hips up toward my hand.

"Tell me what you want me to do".

"God, please….."

"Please what"

I liked this role reversal of me being in control. She needed me. She let out another moan encouraging me to go further.

"I want you to think of me when he touches you". She let out a small moan.

"God, yes I'm sorry. I'll think of you".

I kissed her neck one last time leaning in closer to her ear.

"Don't fuck with me again. I'm not jealous". With that I walked out of the bathroom in complete control.

I spent most of the evening in my bed room listening to music, reading and ignoring my

family.


End file.
